The Emancipation of Dolores McCrumble

Thursday, July 20, 2006

"I'm not inept, I just didn't sleep well."

As I was cleaning my teeth this morning, Joseph summoned me into the office to look at something. Why does he always require my presence at the internet-face when I've either got a mouth full of toothpaste or just lathered my hair with shampoo over the basin? He can't wait. I have to look right there and then. Anyway, I digress.

I quickly spat out the froth (stung my mouth like hell, SR toothpaste is exceedingly minty) and stumbled into the office.

"What????" I grumpily said to him.

"Look at this" he said excitingly, "this is what I'm suffering from."

Granted we have had a few problems on the sleeping-front. These problems are all my fault (apparently) as I am unable to sleep without breathing or moving (at best) or snoring and kicking him (at worst). I'm the first to admit if I'm at fault for something when I'm conscious but I refuse to apologise for things that I do when I'm unconscious. Also, what the article fails to counterpoint is that men can, occasionally, be a bit crap in their own right: "they fared worse in the tests." Well maybe, just maybe, they might have fared worse anyway?? The likes of Joseph who considers himself as having the brain the 'size of a planet' (Uranus I have suggested...) could never admit to being not as good as women at something. 'No, no, if it wasn't for her keeping me awake, I would've fared much better in the tests.' Right. Prove it Joseph.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Joseph's Glarking Mad

If only Joseph would pay more attention to his wife and family instead of devoting his time to being faux-offended by a cartoon beheading of his effigy. Honestly.